Dear friends,
Honeymoon days are over. Back to reality.It has been a practice in india (especially South india and Hyderabad in particular), to concentrate only on boom and follow the crowd.
Current impact cannot be really called as IT recession but it is global in nature.As of Today the total job losses in India are around 7 Lacs and IT has only 10% of that(around 70k).If you really consider indian companies (not including the MNCs), this will drastically comes down to 20k .
Of course Satyam Started adding to the same now as they declared 10k employees redundant.
There are real serious problems in India in s/w market. If we look at the real statistics
IT ocntributes 7-10% of GDP , added direct 20 lac and indirect 80 lac employment .Close to 60 billinon USD imports which make economy real worry free.
People/Employers started exploiting the situation in lot of ways
Income Tax benefits , Governemnt support in assignng land etc...Even small companies without a vision started playing with this.People who are not s/w professionals but purely from business front joined the race.Started increasing the salaries , and pay structure, not looking for employee background , not bothering about loyalty and behavioural trust.
It is the game of opportunity.Emploees too started exploiting it to their favour by shifting companies every six months without botheirng about current organization , there is no centralized mechanism to keep all these things on track. Now we are worried about our kids not getting jobs in IT industry and blame obama for everything.
uNFORTUNATELY THOUGH, Copanies started using current recession to their favour to play unethical games and torturing employees(or taking revenge on them) through rigid rules and conditions(Once upon a time s/w companies used to provide lot of freedom and flexibility to employees)
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Beautiful Life
Dear friends,
Some time back I got a call from my old friend and he informed me that he is coming to phoenix for a short time. Then I recollected that it is a real long gap (3 years) since we had talked to each other .He came to my house later as a formality. When I knew that he is coming to my house, I was thinking what to talk with him, whether he will leave me before my normal offshore call etc… We slowly started talking and gradually traveled into the past, we recollected lot of jokes, experiences games, the quotes, the beautiful times etc… I am really happy for sharing lot of things with him, just remembering those beautiful days .I gave full credit to my college and those days. By next day I had recollected lot of other incidents and realized that I am really missing them. Every person has lot of memories in his life and only when you remember them or recollect them, your heart realizes how much you miss them. We never have time for these beautiful times. We tend to bury ourselves in regular routine life and become real lazy bones. We maintain relationship only to our close family friends and the people around us. I was telling my friend” once I get transferred to other location, chances are fair that I can forget you and try to gel with the people around there in the new location” We have time for potlucks, get togethers, picnics etc.. But not some time with our close people who were once part of our life and we had spent lot of time with them. Finally we forget them (their memories) and fall into the vicious cycles of routine life. My mom was saying the other day,” Vasu .. life is too small to enjoy, it looks like most of the incidents happened just yesterday and I see my life is almost over”. It is true, when I saw my uncle’s marriage VCD recently and I see my mom to be young, dynamic, beautiful and healthy. But now things have really changed. God has given us a special quality of remembering our near and dear, but the man made boundaries are not allowing us to relish the memories. God has created this beautiful land with lot of resources for our own happiness. But we made boundaries; we made artificial walls, false hierarchies, wrong comparisons and finally losing the fun in the life. Let us decide to call/mail our near and dear, be your normal and show how happy you are to talk with him. I am sure the waves will automatically pass on to them. I know that everybody cannot recollect the memories at the same time and when you really want to talk to them, or revive relationship, they are so called busy in their routine. We have lot of communication facilities these days like Cell phones, E-mails, cheap calling cards. Letters which are posted in India for free by websites etc...Inspite of that the relationships are being neglected. I am not talking about all, I know there are exceptionsJust look back .Remember your friends, recollect the incidents you shared with them, stop false comparisons, stop talking about your Job. Stop showing off, be down to earth. Once these are done, just look inside and outside, the world is really beautiful. You have great gifts of the world.
Tip : Love thy loved ones for life is too short
Experiments with Experiences-Real Meditation
Dear Friends
Everyone is born same and as we grow, we start learning. We find the differences in culture, Caste, Religion, disparity in Wealth, status and other boundaries created by human beings. We tend to build a personality, obviously based on the experiences we undergo. Slowly we develop a complex and limit our exposure to the outside world. Then we start comparing with others and develop either ego or jealousy etc… We finally lose people whom we really love at a particular point of time and we really had good time with. I am sure everyone might have experienced the above. Finally we tend to concentrate only on Money, Career, immediate personal interests etc. We forget to give importance to inner things, thoughts that really need a respite and they want us to take away the veil.We need to understand what we really want, how energetic we are, how confident we can be, how efficient we can be.Is there any way to extract the latent energy?What is meditation? Is it thoughtlessness? Emptiness? Thinking over a specific thought? Spiritual need? Relaxing technique?I believe most of the above are true as per individual’s needs and beliefs. My mother believes it to be spiritual and by praying god and thinking about him and serving him through prayers is our duty and it really gives her satisfaction. For me, it is not really spiritual, but a relaxing technique where in I control my incoming thoughts and avoid them by concentrating on a single thought. I normally think about standing in Tirupati Q and slowly walking towards Varaha swamy temple, then the rooms where we get locked for sometime, then I continue walking towards main entrance, then winding, unwinding, the citadels, the entrance to golden citadel. I listen to chanting then the darshan, then coming out. By the time I complete the thought I will be in deep sleep. Frankly I am not a religious person, but somehow we happen to travel to Tirupati countless number of times, I think this incident I can concentrate by repeating this incident in my thoughts, any number of times.Some people don’t like chanting. They think it to be disturbing and noisy during meditation. Instead they choose to meditate in silence, alone, for a reasonable amount of time.What are the advantages of meditation? I am sure; people who do it on a regular basis can only understand and help others on the benefits of Meditation.We can control our emotions.We understand ourselves as we spend some time for ourselves everyday because of meditation.When we understand the tremendous happiness we get out of Meditation, we really give less and less importance to lot of unnecessary thingsWe can identify our potential and we will be energetic always.The inferiority/Superiority complex we develop and further complications resulting out of it will be gone.
Tip: Think light feel ‘Light’
Independce Day
Dear friends,
As I was almost ready for onsite assignment for a new project, I just checked up with my offshore team and I found they are totally new to my then company-infosys (and two of them were freshers). But I could see the eagerness in them to learn things. We had a bumpy start and the first request was handled by ML at offshore (he was a sub contractor to Infosys) was very decent guy .He used to offer lot of solutions, and work hard in the first few days (being fresh to our AMEX account). All of us learnt the Amex process related things and technical findings together. They shared some tips and I sent them my learning. This continued for 4 months, mean time, the team was fully comfortable with the system. Finally the project, which was started as pilot for four months got extended for one more year.A funny thing happened one day as one of my friends here at onsite asked me during general chat, about my resources at offshore. He recognized my resource immediately, saying that my ML was in his earlier project for 10 days and he was pushed out of the project because he did not know the basics (=3.4) in Mainframe. Then I replied, “ He is the best resource we have in our team”. Later my ML at offshore revealed the secret that he was not a mainframe guy and he learnt everything after he joined our project. Since he was a contractor he had to manage to stay in the job.I never really felt that I was dealing with a guy who is inexperienced (in fact I never faced any problem with him, technically). What made the difference? Is it the positive attitude and freedom of mind?Here’s another shared experience, where my friends were part of two small projects (a team size of 5 each) and all of them are highly experienced and added to this, they are well versed with the application (business rules etc…). The team leader happened to be an autocratic person, with rigid rules and strict controls. The team was questioned for every small mistake and a lot of other cheap politics was deployed. Finally the project was scrapped for not meeting the timelines (though the team worked for all 7 days a week and 14-15 hours for the 4 months) and quality (in spite of regular reviews, DCS).Finally the Onsite & Offshore had conflicts. We could not get the next project. The team never had a peaceful moment during the project execution. Everyone in the project thought it was their nightmare.Did micromanagement and red- tapism helped?What is the difference between the above two incidents? Whether ‘ the learnability and positive attitude won OR technical experience, where the human factor was lacking and micromanagement was in place, helped a project?It is identified decades ago and management schools of thought have elucidated the fact that a humane approach is required for executing a given task. The world is not changed yet. Human being is a complex creation of Creator. Unfortunately the importance has not been identified yet. Some people are lucky to be in S/W business where such incidents are rare and since they also change projects often, the bad phase is definitely for a short duration.What goes wrong? Human mind is like a bow and arrow, the more you stretch and give more freedom (within some boundaries) the more you can give the world. Normally most of the people become demoralized for answering questions for which we ourselves feel guilty. Of course, we get demoralized for everything we are questioned, but sense of guilty, if added to the faultfinding session, will be real disturbing. This demoralization phase will continue to grow and eventually there will be a stage where we question our basic intelligence and we also rethink about our caliber and question our achievements in the past.We continue to make mistakes when we are not free. We all know the famous Tagore’s ‘where the mind is without fear..’. If everyone understood the above fact then why there are still lot of stray incidents where people get demoralized. It clearly tells that we know that fact, but we refuse to implement it as people around spoil us.When I became PL 9.5 years back all my close friends wished me good luck and offered a free advice, ”From today onwards you have to maintain some distance between you and your team mates, else they may take advantage of you. You also need to get regular status updates from them otherwise they will forget who they are reporting to etc.”Problem with the above is that, there are chances in which the above advices can be taken. Chances are fair that people might misuse the power they get. We should not get carried away through such things. As you all know “With great Power comes Great Responsibility”.Every person will have his way of handling things. Wearing false masks will never help us.Also let us try to understand our tasks, depending upon the role we play
Case1: Should the task to be completed where people automatically take up the responsibility and stand till the completion?
Case2: Should we force people to work and intimidate them by pointing their mistakes, demoralizing them, making them incapable to take decisions on their own?
Case 1 requires a participative leader, who provides freedom to his teammates and gets work done without much tension, as there were no misunderstandings. It also helps the personal development of the individual to take up the higher responsibilities, as opposed to case2.In order to give the best we have, we need to maintain a little composure during disturbed times. Try to think of the achievements you made, and identify the problems that we really need to address for our own development.Always think that each and every problem will add an experience to you, where you learn a new thing and become matured. The experiences will not only teach you what to do but also what not to do.Today being the Independence Day, I have chosen this topic. We lost our lives for obtaining the freedom and let us not fall into the rigid hands again.
Tip:The most important thing in life is to work freely within the identified and agreed upon boundaries, to give the best we have to the world to get back the best from the world.
As I was almost ready for onsite assignment for a new project, I just checked up with my offshore team and I found they are totally new to my then company-infosys (and two of them were freshers). But I could see the eagerness in them to learn things. We had a bumpy start and the first request was handled by ML at offshore (he was a sub contractor to Infosys) was very decent guy .He used to offer lot of solutions, and work hard in the first few days (being fresh to our AMEX account). All of us learnt the Amex process related things and technical findings together. They shared some tips and I sent them my learning. This continued for 4 months, mean time, the team was fully comfortable with the system. Finally the project, which was started as pilot for four months got extended for one more year.A funny thing happened one day as one of my friends here at onsite asked me during general chat, about my resources at offshore. He recognized my resource immediately, saying that my ML was in his earlier project for 10 days and he was pushed out of the project because he did not know the basics (=3.4) in Mainframe. Then I replied, “ He is the best resource we have in our team”. Later my ML at offshore revealed the secret that he was not a mainframe guy and he learnt everything after he joined our project. Since he was a contractor he had to manage to stay in the job.I never really felt that I was dealing with a guy who is inexperienced (in fact I never faced any problem with him, technically). What made the difference? Is it the positive attitude and freedom of mind?Here’s another shared experience, where my friends were part of two small projects (a team size of 5 each) and all of them are highly experienced and added to this, they are well versed with the application (business rules etc…). The team leader happened to be an autocratic person, with rigid rules and strict controls. The team was questioned for every small mistake and a lot of other cheap politics was deployed. Finally the project was scrapped for not meeting the timelines (though the team worked for all 7 days a week and 14-15 hours for the 4 months) and quality (in spite of regular reviews, DCS).Finally the Onsite & Offshore had conflicts. We could not get the next project. The team never had a peaceful moment during the project execution. Everyone in the project thought it was their nightmare.Did micromanagement and red- tapism helped?What is the difference between the above two incidents? Whether ‘ the learnability and positive attitude won OR technical experience, where the human factor was lacking and micromanagement was in place, helped a project?It is identified decades ago and management schools of thought have elucidated the fact that a humane approach is required for executing a given task. The world is not changed yet. Human being is a complex creation of Creator. Unfortunately the importance has not been identified yet. Some people are lucky to be in S/W business where such incidents are rare and since they also change projects often, the bad phase is definitely for a short duration.What goes wrong? Human mind is like a bow and arrow, the more you stretch and give more freedom (within some boundaries) the more you can give the world. Normally most of the people become demoralized for answering questions for which we ourselves feel guilty. Of course, we get demoralized for everything we are questioned, but sense of guilty, if added to the faultfinding session, will be real disturbing. This demoralization phase will continue to grow and eventually there will be a stage where we question our basic intelligence and we also rethink about our caliber and question our achievements in the past.We continue to make mistakes when we are not free. We all know the famous Tagore’s ‘where the mind is without fear..’. If everyone understood the above fact then why there are still lot of stray incidents where people get demoralized. It clearly tells that we know that fact, but we refuse to implement it as people around spoil us.When I became PL 9.5 years back all my close friends wished me good luck and offered a free advice, ”From today onwards you have to maintain some distance between you and your team mates, else they may take advantage of you. You also need to get regular status updates from them otherwise they will forget who they are reporting to etc.”Problem with the above is that, there are chances in which the above advices can be taken. Chances are fair that people might misuse the power they get. We should not get carried away through such things. As you all know “With great Power comes Great Responsibility”.Every person will have his way of handling things. Wearing false masks will never help us.Also let us try to understand our tasks, depending upon the role we play
Case1: Should the task to be completed where people automatically take up the responsibility and stand till the completion?
Case2: Should we force people to work and intimidate them by pointing their mistakes, demoralizing them, making them incapable to take decisions on their own?
Case 1 requires a participative leader, who provides freedom to his teammates and gets work done without much tension, as there were no misunderstandings. It also helps the personal development of the individual to take up the higher responsibilities, as opposed to case2.In order to give the best we have, we need to maintain a little composure during disturbed times. Try to think of the achievements you made, and identify the problems that we really need to address for our own development.Always think that each and every problem will add an experience to you, where you learn a new thing and become matured. The experiences will not only teach you what to do but also what not to do.Today being the Independence Day, I have chosen this topic. We lost our lives for obtaining the freedom and let us not fall into the rigid hands again.
Tip:The most important thing in life is to work freely within the identified and agreed upon boundaries, to give the best we have to the world to get back the best from the world.
Positive Thought
Dear friends,
I never thought I would ever leave Hyderabad and work elsewhere. But things, which are bound to happen, will happen. I had to go to a place, which is 40 hrs from Hyderabad for my first Job. Though it was painful initially, we had excellent time there, as everyone in my batch was in the same boat. There was great cohesiveness amongst us. Of course later we formed smaller groups and started sharing our personal life, stories about everything under the sun. As you know, with all relationships, there also comes up a lot of misunderstandings, thought mismatches, arguments etc…Once I was returning from my vacation, back to my workplace. I suddenly started thinking about my friend and the arguments we had. I was thinking ’I should have said this. I should have done that etc…’ Within the next one hour blood started pumping high and my mind was not in my control. I was feeling totally pressurized and soon I started feeling severe, uncontrollable headache.I did not carry pills during my journey. My headache doubled within next one hour.Later the train stopped at Vijayawada and I had my lunch and during that time. I took some mango juice. For no reason a quick thought came to my mind that it was my friends’ favorite too. Unknowingly I started recollecting the good times we shared together. For next 1 hour I was thinking about the same and surprisingly I felt relaxed. My mind was relieved of the tension. My headache was slowly reduced. I was totally fresh and I started feeling much happier.Then I was asking myself, why do lot of people ask us to be positive, control emotions etc…? I thought it might be a better anger/tension/depression control mechanism for me.Whenever I feel tensed up, I try to think of things, which relieves me off the stress.Whenever I feel depressed, I try to think of things, which boost my confidenceWhenever I feel bad about a person, I try to think of good things that person has done to me. (We all know that every one has some good and bad qualities)Why do people with great wealth and success in their career still have lot of health problems? In most of the cases they don’t deal things with positive thought. Depressing thoughts can kill or force you to throw away your god-gifted life.
The advantages of the positive thought will be,
1.Immediate relief (Once you are normal then try for the permanent solution to the irritating problem)
2.Chance to look at the good things of a person or about our past and looking back into our mistakes too (Basically self-realization)
3.Health considerations
4. Better control over the immediate task (without a better control of mind, body won’t help us and we cannot perform the task of our choice)
I have tried the above and it worked lot of times for me. I hope every person will have their own way of dealing anger and other things in their life.So lets get over with all troubles by avoiding bad thought and recollecting some good memories from our past.
Tip :Be happy , happy all the time
Problem(atic) Life
Dear friends,
It happened to me around 7.5 years back. I had to drive down to Kansas City from Omaha, where I was staying. I promised my friend that I will be there positively that weekend, and reserved a car and complimented myself for planning well in advance and getting a very good deal on the car. But as we all know that man proposes and god disposes, suddenly snow was predicted for that day and I started from office early so that I can reach my destination before the snow starts. We started at 70 mph and continuously increased speed to 100,110 mph. I was in full control and was happy to cross Nebraska and entered Missouri .It was growing darker. After some time I could see lights flashing behind my car, in the rear view. A Cop stopped me. He gave me two tickets, one for speeding and another for not buckling seat belt to the child. He was very pleasing and took around 25 minutes, then fined me 225+60 dollars. Now, it started snowing. I traveled the next 1.5 hrs in heavy snow (of course with heavy heart, as 300 dollars was very high for me as it was my first trip to the US and used to see every dollar as 47 rupees).I knew that this was a serious damage and was going to blow up my insurance costs also for next 2-3 years, on top of the monetary loss. I tried my level best later for 10 -15 days to avoid the fine (thru driving classes etc.), but in vain.Now if I think of the same problem I don’t feel pain with the same intensity, of course I don’t feel heavy at all even if I forcibly try to feel the same. I don’t know where it had disappeared.
Later our .net project was under tremendous pressure, as the proof of concept that has been shown by Microsoft guys did not work with the amount of data we have in our database. We had a real tough time as we were not sure what would happen and where to go. We tried all options under tension. Every day we tried and exhausted a new option ,but without a solution. My friend started thinking the impact of this on our career. What would happen next? How would our superiors take this incident? Will we be held responsible for this problem (though this problem is basically with the Microsoft product and their initial assumption that the product would be compatible)? My friend has gone to the extent of saying the impossible. I remember him saying this to me with fun ’if only god takes a few days of my life and gives a solution to this problem, I am happy to accept it.’ This is our normal tendency .We tried to maintain cool-heads and I told him lot of incidents that the life of any problem is short and we will eventually come out of the problem soon. Anyway within 2 weeks he found a solution. (He might even get a royalty from Microsoft for this)The above two incidents clearly convey a message, that the life span of any problem is much shorter than what we imagine. During the troubled moments we think that we have reached the end of our life. If only we could control our emotions (tension) in the initial days by trying not to think too much of the problem.Think about the problem without getting tensed. Do not think of the future consequences too much. I know everyone will have his/her own method to have their emotions under control.I happened to watch a movie around 10 years back (a stupid movie of course). There is a good learning experience from the movie though. Heroine asks hero“How come I never see you tensed up? Don’t you feel tensed up at all?”Hero answers with smiling face “biggest tension in life is the death; can any tension/problem supercede it?”I suddenly recollected my mom’s sayings ‘Don’t ever feel tensed up for any problem, as the age of the problem is smaller than your life’The consequences of the unnecessary thought process are countless. But the health takes the precedence amongst them all. Every positive and encouraging thought makes you healthier and vice versa.We face lot of problems and we eventually find a way out of it. Just look back at your life spent by you so far, the countless number of problems and every time you came out of it. But maintaining composure by avoiding demoralizing thoughts during the problem phase will help you to be energetic, healthy forever.To sum that up,Here’s a typical life cycle of any problem.
1. The ‘Problem’ itself
2. Unnecessary thoughts about future consequences
3. SolutionFor phase 1 – You have to work your way out of the problem, plan accordingly (as you always do)Phase 2 - This is what we need to avoid, till you get a solution to tackle the issue, as this is the killer.Phase 3 – This is your plan to find your way out – lots of beer if that helps ;-)
Finally, one word. When you want to enjoy the money you earned by sacrificing your health (as we are young now, we really neglect our health), you end up in using the money to save your health in later part of life. Think twice before you feel tensed up.
Tip of the week: Smile is the curve that keeps everything straight.
It happened to me around 7.5 years back. I had to drive down to Kansas City from Omaha, where I was staying. I promised my friend that I will be there positively that weekend, and reserved a car and complimented myself for planning well in advance and getting a very good deal on the car. But as we all know that man proposes and god disposes, suddenly snow was predicted for that day and I started from office early so that I can reach my destination before the snow starts. We started at 70 mph and continuously increased speed to 100,110 mph. I was in full control and was happy to cross Nebraska and entered Missouri .It was growing darker. After some time I could see lights flashing behind my car, in the rear view. A Cop stopped me. He gave me two tickets, one for speeding and another for not buckling seat belt to the child. He was very pleasing and took around 25 minutes, then fined me 225+60 dollars. Now, it started snowing. I traveled the next 1.5 hrs in heavy snow (of course with heavy heart, as 300 dollars was very high for me as it was my first trip to the US and used to see every dollar as 47 rupees).I knew that this was a serious damage and was going to blow up my insurance costs also for next 2-3 years, on top of the monetary loss. I tried my level best later for 10 -15 days to avoid the fine (thru driving classes etc.), but in vain.Now if I think of the same problem I don’t feel pain with the same intensity, of course I don’t feel heavy at all even if I forcibly try to feel the same. I don’t know where it had disappeared.
Later our .net project was under tremendous pressure, as the proof of concept that has been shown by Microsoft guys did not work with the amount of data we have in our database. We had a real tough time as we were not sure what would happen and where to go. We tried all options under tension. Every day we tried and exhausted a new option ,but without a solution. My friend started thinking the impact of this on our career. What would happen next? How would our superiors take this incident? Will we be held responsible for this problem (though this problem is basically with the Microsoft product and their initial assumption that the product would be compatible)? My friend has gone to the extent of saying the impossible. I remember him saying this to me with fun ’if only god takes a few days of my life and gives a solution to this problem, I am happy to accept it.’ This is our normal tendency .We tried to maintain cool-heads and I told him lot of incidents that the life of any problem is short and we will eventually come out of the problem soon. Anyway within 2 weeks he found a solution. (He might even get a royalty from Microsoft for this)The above two incidents clearly convey a message, that the life span of any problem is much shorter than what we imagine. During the troubled moments we think that we have reached the end of our life. If only we could control our emotions (tension) in the initial days by trying not to think too much of the problem.Think about the problem without getting tensed. Do not think of the future consequences too much. I know everyone will have his/her own method to have their emotions under control.I happened to watch a movie around 10 years back (a stupid movie of course). There is a good learning experience from the movie though. Heroine asks hero“How come I never see you tensed up? Don’t you feel tensed up at all?”Hero answers with smiling face “biggest tension in life is the death; can any tension/problem supercede it?”I suddenly recollected my mom’s sayings ‘Don’t ever feel tensed up for any problem, as the age of the problem is smaller than your life’The consequences of the unnecessary thought process are countless. But the health takes the precedence amongst them all. Every positive and encouraging thought makes you healthier and vice versa.We face lot of problems and we eventually find a way out of it. Just look back at your life spent by you so far, the countless number of problems and every time you came out of it. But maintaining composure by avoiding demoralizing thoughts during the problem phase will help you to be energetic, healthy forever.To sum that up,Here’s a typical life cycle of any problem.
1. The ‘Problem’ itself
2. Unnecessary thoughts about future consequences
3. SolutionFor phase 1 – You have to work your way out of the problem, plan accordingly (as you always do)Phase 2 - This is what we need to avoid, till you get a solution to tackle the issue, as this is the killer.Phase 3 – This is your plan to find your way out – lots of beer if that helps ;-)
Finally, one word. When you want to enjoy the money you earned by sacrificing your health (as we are young now, we really neglect our health), you end up in using the money to save your health in later part of life. Think twice before you feel tensed up.
Tip of the week: Smile is the curve that keeps everything straight.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Experiments With Expereinces-Show off
Dear Friends,
One of our relative’s families (my aunt/uncle) is very rich. I used to like their reception during the functions they celebrate. I don’t remember missing any. Of course they used to celebrate countless number of lavish functions spanning 4-5 days (like the one in ‘hum apke hain kaun’). In fact I got to get the opportunity to meet all my other relatives during these get-togethers. The arrangements were exceptional and none of our relatives would miss them. If the venue is different then they used to reserve train tickets to all of us, breakfast, lunch, dinner. My aunt (the rich hostess) used to say that she has prepared say 20 items and had kept a side Rs.2 lac just for miscellaneous expenses(15 years back). They used to arrange hotel rooms, other services besides the normal transportation from function palace to the guest houses .We all used to praise their money, their status, their generosity. Everyone used to swarm my uncle just to show others how close they are to him. Days continued and there were some unforeseen incidents took place. Also there were lots of down serge in their business. Gradually they made losses and fell into debt traps. Now the other relatives stopped praising them. Started commenting on them (it is hot news right?), some people even became cruel enough to take revenge for their past wraths.I am sure the above case is very common in most of our relatives. We all know that these things are bound to happen and as they say ’sukh me sab sathi, dukh me na koi’.Here’s another incident. My wife has a friend and after a long time we found that their family is in Chennai. We located their address with difficulty and finally reached there. We talked with them for an hour and while we were returning she also accompanied us to the main gate (there is nothing wrong in that, but coming from 5th floor to see us off is something different).Then she was casually showing us their car. I got an answer for the question in my mind. Whether we had / hadn’t seen their car (10 years back) our attitude towards them would have been indifferent.We all spend a lot of money, time, effort to show off our wealth, status, rank, greatness etc. We try to compete with others in celebrating functions and some times overdo it. We all build homes and have extra guest rooms too. Have we ever asked one question? Whether we invite people to our home, do we invite them in to our heart? Whether we have some people who can really feel happy for our wealth or feel sad & supportive, when we are falling down? What do we achieve by showing off? What do we achieve by feeling temporary pride? I am simply talking about this unnecessary show off. Now-a-days most of the things are available in market on Installments and Credit cards. The standard of living is still has definitely risen. By showing off the things we are making fools of ourselves. If we purchase a car, TV, Fridge etc., they are for us and not for status. If we concentrate more on social relationships rather than social status, we can really get the happiness and the relationship we want. I am not against any functions/parties but believe me now-a-days these are just celebrated as some means of showing off status/wealth/rank. Remember our greatness is ours and we need not to show it off. We spend a lot in showing off our status , if that money is spent on helping the needy (in your relatives/friends/close circle) we can get the people/relationship and as we all know there can be nothing happier than seeing lot of satisfied, happy faces.
Thanks and Regards
Srinivas Darbha PMP, CISSP, 6Sigma Greenbelt & Esteem Professional, Competent Toastmaster and Leader
One of our relative’s families (my aunt/uncle) is very rich. I used to like their reception during the functions they celebrate. I don’t remember missing any. Of course they used to celebrate countless number of lavish functions spanning 4-5 days (like the one in ‘hum apke hain kaun’). In fact I got to get the opportunity to meet all my other relatives during these get-togethers. The arrangements were exceptional and none of our relatives would miss them. If the venue is different then they used to reserve train tickets to all of us, breakfast, lunch, dinner. My aunt (the rich hostess) used to say that she has prepared say 20 items and had kept a side Rs.2 lac just for miscellaneous expenses(15 years back). They used to arrange hotel rooms, other services besides the normal transportation from function palace to the guest houses .We all used to praise their money, their status, their generosity. Everyone used to swarm my uncle just to show others how close they are to him. Days continued and there were some unforeseen incidents took place. Also there were lots of down serge in their business. Gradually they made losses and fell into debt traps. Now the other relatives stopped praising them. Started commenting on them (it is hot news right?), some people even became cruel enough to take revenge for their past wraths.I am sure the above case is very common in most of our relatives. We all know that these things are bound to happen and as they say ’sukh me sab sathi, dukh me na koi’.Here’s another incident. My wife has a friend and after a long time we found that their family is in Chennai. We located their address with difficulty and finally reached there. We talked with them for an hour and while we were returning she also accompanied us to the main gate (there is nothing wrong in that, but coming from 5th floor to see us off is something different).Then she was casually showing us their car. I got an answer for the question in my mind. Whether we had / hadn’t seen their car (10 years back) our attitude towards them would have been indifferent.We all spend a lot of money, time, effort to show off our wealth, status, rank, greatness etc. We try to compete with others in celebrating functions and some times overdo it. We all build homes and have extra guest rooms too. Have we ever asked one question? Whether we invite people to our home, do we invite them in to our heart? Whether we have some people who can really feel happy for our wealth or feel sad & supportive, when we are falling down? What do we achieve by showing off? What do we achieve by feeling temporary pride? I am simply talking about this unnecessary show off. Now-a-days most of the things are available in market on Installments and Credit cards. The standard of living is still has definitely risen. By showing off the things we are making fools of ourselves. If we purchase a car, TV, Fridge etc., they are for us and not for status. If we concentrate more on social relationships rather than social status, we can really get the happiness and the relationship we want. I am not against any functions/parties but believe me now-a-days these are just celebrated as some means of showing off status/wealth/rank. Remember our greatness is ours and we need not to show it off. We spend a lot in showing off our status , if that money is spent on helping the needy (in your relatives/friends/close circle) we can get the people/relationship and as we all know there can be nothing happier than seeing lot of satisfied, happy faces.
Thanks and Regards
Srinivas Darbha PMP, CISSP, 6Sigma Greenbelt & Esteem Professional, Competent Toastmaster and Leader
Experiments With Experiences-Willingness to Survive
Dear friends,
This article is part of my ‘experiments with experiences’ series. I thought of sharing with you all as we all need to have the’ Willingness to Survival’. Four years back, one person driving his jeep and was also accompanied by his friend met with an accident. The accident was really fatal and it cut his throat to almost 90 percent.
The friend next to him was shocked and passed out. To our utter astonishment the driver didn’t die. He took out a towel, tied his head to neck and drove to a nearest hospital. But
they didn’t admit him. He drove for another 15 min to a Govt. hospital and fell on the floor. He was immediately operated and was saved.
In another incident, my friend’s uncle is a police and he faced some opposition in a village and he escaped from the villagers with a great difficulty. The villagers cut his hand with axes.
He threatened them all by shooting in the air and fled from there. He reached a nearest hospital after 45 minutes and survived.
But look at this case.
My own uncle, who is normally very slow driver and a depressed soul, one day fell on a speed breaker (in a non-crowded area) and woke up from Coma after 2 years.It is the willingness to survive that keeps us going. We observe that in spite of so many complications people are ready to survive. The world has a standard rule ‘survival of the fittest’ .We need to be strong at mind in all times. As we all
know we cannot avoid problems, but we should have the courage to face them. Lot of us get tensed up and try to give up in troubled times.But people who come out of the problems grow stronger and can face anything. We are really not sure about next life. But we got one opportunity to make this life happier, healthier. Try to make your personal life stronger, so that you get all the support to take up
any problem effectively.Tip: Live life King size
This article is part of my ‘experiments with experiences’ series. I thought of sharing with you all as we all need to have the’ Willingness to Survival’. Four years back, one person driving his jeep and was also accompanied by his friend met with an accident. The accident was really fatal and it cut his throat to almost 90 percent.
The friend next to him was shocked and passed out. To our utter astonishment the driver didn’t die. He took out a towel, tied his head to neck and drove to a nearest hospital. But
they didn’t admit him. He drove for another 15 min to a Govt. hospital and fell on the floor. He was immediately operated and was saved.
In another incident, my friend’s uncle is a police and he faced some opposition in a village and he escaped from the villagers with a great difficulty. The villagers cut his hand with axes.
He threatened them all by shooting in the air and fled from there. He reached a nearest hospital after 45 minutes and survived.
But look at this case.
My own uncle, who is normally very slow driver and a depressed soul, one day fell on a speed breaker (in a non-crowded area) and woke up from Coma after 2 years.It is the willingness to survive that keeps us going. We observe that in spite of so many complications people are ready to survive. The world has a standard rule ‘survival of the fittest’ .We need to be strong at mind in all times. As we all
know we cannot avoid problems, but we should have the courage to face them. Lot of us get tensed up and try to give up in troubled times.But people who come out of the problems grow stronger and can face anything. We are really not sure about next life. But we got one opportunity to make this life happier, healthier. Try to make your personal life stronger, so that you get all the support to take up
any problem effectively.Tip: Live life King size
Back to school efforts
Last Thursday, my kids were being issued their new books for the ensuing academic year by the school authorities. We were quite early and yet were greeted by a long line of parents/ prospective buyers and some excited students. Dutifully, I joined a queue and waited for my turn to pay first before getting delivery of my booksets. A blackboard displayed the requisite amounts against the respective grades. This actually was my solo venture during this annual exercise and the net total for two kids' books was frankly extravagant! My impulse was to go for my wallet and ensure that I was indeed carrying enough cash - there is no credit facility here. Soon, some bored-of-waiting parents raised the doubt about the actual market price of the bookset and if it would be more economical to purchase them the old-fashioned way. A brief discussion ensued where the animated adults indulged in flashbacks of their childhood days. I could relate to their incredulity at the prices, myself being a product of government schools where new books every year was unheard of ( do hand-me-downs ring a bell?) yet if necessary were quite affordable.
A couple of days later, I visited a fairly big bookstore to get some stationery and the crowd was impatient and chaotic. Many people were on the sidewalk hoping to get in eventually. I came back meekly thanking my lucky stars for not having to go through this near-stampede. Back home, the next step of dressing the books in smart brown sheets with neatly typed labels and favourite kid stickers was already in progress under my wife's deft fingers. I heaved a sigh of relief and realised that we were all set until next year.
A couple of days later, I visited a fairly big bookstore to get some stationery and the crowd was impatient and chaotic. Many people were on the sidewalk hoping to get in eventually. I came back meekly thanking my lucky stars for not having to go through this near-stampede. Back home, the next step of dressing the books in smart brown sheets with neatly typed labels and favourite kid stickers was already in progress under my wife's deft fingers. I heaved a sigh of relief and realised that we were all set until next year.
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